A little bit about my toxic family

Living at home as a child was always the wildest roller-coaster, the ups and downs always left me confused. How could it be that my parents would argue and scream at the top of their lungs and then 10 minutes later be laughing with each other as though nothing had ever happened. I completely understand that a lot of couples argue, but the way my parents argued made me think the world was ending. They would scream at the top of their lungs, hurling abuse at each one another and my mother would be hysterically sobbing. Seeing them interact with each other now, I can sense the same toxic patterns in them. It puzzles me that they’ve stayed together for long and not actually killed each other.

Don’t get me wrong I adore my mum and dad and appreciate all they’ve done for me, but their relationship is far from ideal. Some of my siblings act in a very similar way to my parents. My older sister would often physically assault me as a child and then pretend nothing had happened. If anything, she would then get angry at me for bleeding on the floor. She would then continue to run around and act as though she had done nothing, without an ounce of guilt. This would all be whilst I cried in pain. Unfortunately, she’s still stuck in the same mental state and still refuses to apologise to people when she verbally abuses them and expects things to go back to normal automatically. I’ve pondered on these thoughts for the longest time, am I the issue? Is it normal for people to treat each other like this and then suddenly act normal with no apology or remorse? Should I have just let my sister physically assault me and got over it? I refuse to believe that this is an actual ‘normal’ thing to happen.

I would love to hear some opinions, is this an actual thing that happens in healthy families? Am I being over dramatic or over sensitive?

Thank you for reading!

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14 thoughts on “A little bit about my toxic family

  1. There is definitely a problem. My parents had similar issues. And i grew up thinking its normal but when looking around i realised the toxicness of the situation and how badly it had mentally affected me. I grew up thinking people dont understand till you raise your voice, abuse is normal and many such other toxic ideas. It took me years to get out of this anxiety, snapping and finding toxicity normal. But I finally did. And such behavior doesn’t affect me anymore. Im sure you are brave enough and will fight the situation.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you for your comment, I can totally relate to all of what you are saying. I feel as though I never really spoke about it or even realised it wasn’t normal until I saw the way other families were as an adult. It’s amazing to hear you’ve found a way to overcome the issues and I really appreciate your words of support. I hope one day I can say the same

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I can totally relate to this, only that am the big sister, i dont beat my siblings btw but i do scream at them😂 anyway i dont think there is such a thing as a perfect family, no one is perfect we all are toxic in someway. Healing begins when you stop judging and start forgiving. It’s quite hard to forgive people who never apologize but how much to do you love yourself? And how badly do you want to be happy?

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I understand how you feel, my dear there is no other way, the world is full of toxic people you will find one every where you go, get this YOU HAVE THE POWER TO CONTROL HOW THINGS MAKE YOU FEEL, stop giving them the power to continue hurting you, You will continue to suffer until the day you decide, OKAY AM DONE, am choosing to forgive everyday regardless of the damage done to me, because the anger, rage, and depression is giving YOU cancer not THEM. YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE for what they do to you, but HEALING my dear is you RESPONSIBILITY.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I read a book which spoke about this, and it said what I believe to be true. There is no such thing as the perfect family, and if anyone says they have the perfect family then they are living in denial. All have issues, whether we choose to recognize them or not.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I totally agree, thank you for the words of wisdom. It’s abit like life we all have our own challenges to overcome, but often get caught up in the issues rather than the solutions. Recently I’ve been trying to focus on the ways I can manage and deal with the problems instead of focusing on them

      Liked by 1 person

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