I am exhausted. Two weeks of actually attending university has done this to me. I don’t feel as though I’m learning anything from the lectures, I sit there trying not to fall asleep. Being spoken at for 3 hours isn’t my idea of an enjoyable morning. Despite this, I genuinely feel as though if I learnt something new in every lecture it would convince me to attend more. But the fact that I’ve missed all my lectures and feel as though I’ve not missed a single thing tells me perhaps university really isn’t for me.
I’ve become a procrastinating queen, my educational motivation has always been relatively high but I can’t seem to convince myself to complete an essay which does not entice or engage my brain at the slightest. I can’t help but feel as though my lecturers see me and their eyes light up with $$$ signs. . Ok well that’s a bit of an exaggeration, my lecturers are pretty nice people but I can’t seem to sit through their repetitive and recycled presentations without feeling as though I’m being scammed for my money. Admittedly I’m not paying for it currently, but I will be once I graduate. I often find myself in shock when I realise I’m pretty much paying £9000 a year for information I could have probably got off of the internet for free. There is nothing to be learnt here so why am I being charged so much money for something so not worth it? University and the idea of it exhausts me mentally, it’s nothing but a box ticking exercise. Pretty much all of education is, but I had hoped for something more interesting and engaging at higher education. Hats off to anyone who actually committed to and completed any higher education qualification because right now, I can’t see that happening for me.
if you’ve experienced something similar I would really appreciate some wisdom and advice. I’m so torn between dropping out because I’m half way through the degree and have already wasted so much money so I feel as though I should have something to show for it. However, I’m exhausted and seriously bored of university and the whole situation surrounding it.
Thank you for reading 🙂